Wedding Barf

BARF!

Drinking water when you are thirsty is instinctual.  Running from a burning building because it is on fire is instinctual. Picking out  a wedding dress is a SUBJECTIVE DECISION!  I’m sick of being told over and over again that it is a primal experience, like there is some essential, fashion savvy part of my womanhood I haven’t latched onto yet.  I went to try on wedding dresses once, before I moved from NYC to LA, so that me and my two favorite ladies could share the experience together before I moved.  It was supposed to be a fun day of trying on clothes followed up by mimosas at the bar.  When we got to the store, we picked out some dresses that looked cute (none had price tags) and I went to go change.    When I tried on the first dress I burst into tears because, duh, it suddenly became real to me that I was getting married.  The store employees leapt onto action “You’re crying because this is the one!  This dress is meant for you!”  When my friends’ eyes started tearing up the employees went into hyperspeed “Look at your friends crying!  This is YOUR wedding dress!  Did you know the tulle was made in France?  It was made for you!  IN FRANCE”  I was a sweating, crying blotchy mess and then they released the Kraken of the bridal boutique “Let’s just see how it looks with the veil…”  They put a veil on me and it was over.  Visions of my fiance’s face seeing me walk down the aisle, of our future children, of my deceased parents screaming down from heaven that I must have this dress!  And then I took it off and the employee handed me a piece of paper with the price written down in black ink and walked away to “give me a moment”  A price that was larger than any amount I had in my bank account…. ever.  And suddenly I heard that mantra I had read so many times in wedding blogs “You will know when it’s the right dress.  It’s instinctual.”  And I spent the next 24 hours trying to figure out a way I could beg, borrow or steal the money I needed to buy it,  Luckily, the bridal boutique roofies wore off after a day and I realized there was no way I would ever spend that much on a dress that I would wear for 5 hours. 

If you’ve got a ton of disposable income, go for it, buy the expensive designer dress of your dreams!  But if you don’t, please don’t let this myth of the perfect dress and the magical moment in the dressing room when you try it on fool you into stressing out or spending more than you can afford.  You’re excited and emotional because you’re in love, not because of the French tulle.  (Quote found here)