Wedding Barf

BARF!

This is real people, this is not a joke.  There is such a thing as a “bridal diaper” that women can wear under their wedding dress.  Dresses have become so elaborate, so huge and clumsy, that it is impossible for a bride to go to the bathroom by herself, thus, the bridal diaper.  Aisle Dash even got a quote from Kleinfeld’s on the subject: “If you must wear a diaper, please wear it to your fittings so you can ensure the gown fits properly!”

I suppose it was only a matter of time before the diapers came.  After all, it is socially accepted now that on her wedding day a woman will act like a baby.  Today brides are known for crying until they get what they want, pouting when things don’t go their way and throwing tantrums.  Why stop at a diaper?  Let’s start allowing for nap time in between the ceremony and the reception.  And if a bride is screaming that she’s unhappy with how the centerpieces turned out, shove a pacifier in her mouth! In lieu of a first dance, how about a rousing game of peek-a-boo?

I can just see my fiance’s face now, on our first night together as a married couple, putting me up on a table and taking off my poopy diaper…